Chuck Norris does not sleep, he waits. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis. Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves. Chuck Norris originally appeared in the “Street Fighter II” video game but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this “glitch,” Norris replied, “That’s no glitch.”.
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush. Guns don’t kill people, Chuck Norris kills people. Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down. Chuck Norris sleeps in his jeans. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. Fool me once, shame on you, Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face. Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. An eclipse is just the suns attempt to hide from Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken’s famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices, but nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear. Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing. The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’ fist. Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks. Chuck Norris doesn’t go hunting… CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING. Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice. Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11… a suicide.
CNN was originally created as the “Chuck Norris Network” to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Japan didn’t surrender because of the atomic bomb. They watched Delta Force and decided to give up.